Author: The Faux News Prophet

  • California Burnin’ Part 2: The DEI Menace

    As California continues to deal with devastating natural disasters, the true Patriots out there are asking the important questions like: Is this happening because of gays and minorities? Also, what Lib deserves the most blame? These, MAGAts, are the truly important questions that the country absolutely should be focusing on. Not “how do we help… Read more

  • Not Sayin’, Just Sayin’ I Heard Part II

    Dear Patriots, we’re going to discuss more of the absolutely SICK conspiracy theories we hear going around Lib world today. As you may know, our leader was “sentenced” today at the end of the witch hunt about “hush money” payments. First of all, may the first millionaire who hasn’t paid hush money to a pornstar… Read more

  • California’s Burnin’, Again

    Leave it to those Radical Libs to steal all the headlines, again. Here we go down the road of unlimited news about our Emperor, and all people want to talk about are Liberal fires. Ridiculous.       Well, if you haven’t heard, which is nearly impossible, California is on fire again. If it seems like we here… Read more

  • The Rewritation of January Sixth 2020

    Good morning Patriots! That infuriating time of year has come again where the Radical Left gets all up in arms about the day of love that they call an “insurrection.” It really grinds my gears that each year these Libs go to lengths hereto unimaginable to convince America that King Donald wants to have absolute… Read more

  • Is All of MAGA Racist? Not All…

    The Radical Left media often asks the public to believe that the beautiful movement that is MAGA is built on racist ideals. Is this true, MAGAts? Of course not. The Libs go to this narrative because they can’t explain what MAGA really is, and I’m not going to spell out what it is here simply… Read more

  • Immigration = MAGA Breakup?

    Welcome back Patriots. Are we getting a view today of MAGA and Dark MAGA’s prenups? Or is this the wedge issue? Or, more realistically, yeah right Libs, neither! If you haven’t seen it yourself, the Radical Left Media is out there again trying to sabotage us. This time it is through the soon to be… Read more

  • Michael Johnson; Just Boring Enough for MAGA to Use

    Welcome back, Patriots, to another edition of the “real news!” Today we are going to be talking about Magic Mike Johnson, the boring dude from Louisiana that lets us have the Evangelical vote. It has been discussed in the news recently that even if Supreme Leader Trump wants Mike Johnson to stay the Speaker of… Read more

  • Not Saying, Just Saying I Heard: Part I

    Patriots, some detrimental events occurred in our country recently. The Patriots from the real media (you know, the conservative one) are definitely not using these tragedies for their benefit by claiming someone declared war on the United States to start another ten years of money-through-warhawking schemes. Nor are they pushing some made up racist agenda!… Read more

  • Donald Trump, Land Baron

    For two terms now, Donald Trump has been flexing his knowledge and expertise at real estate and land acquisition. First, he proposed that the United States buy Greenland on the cheap. That was an amazing idea! Sure, it wasn’t exactly possible or plausible, but it was a hell of an idea! Sure Greenland is covered… Read more

  • President Trump Asks, His Court Answers

    Welcome back Patriots! Another day, another bunch of good news in the pre-presidency of Supreme Leader Trump. Trump has decided that no, shutting down TikTok would not be valuable to this great country of ours. Or, at the very least, to his never-ending presidential campaign. Would we be in the glorious situation we are in… Read more