Great afternoon, Patriots! What a week for MAGA world! The real patriots, those who will do anything that The Trump says, are having their confirmation hearings and killing it in front of congress! You know they’re doing a good job when the Libs and RINOs are hating every minute of it. We’re watching some real classic senate hearings, lots of, “I can’t answer hypothetical questions,” and, “Of course I won’t do that thing that is illegal if the President asks me to.” Some real classics. We here at The Faux News were never aware that there were so many different ways to say, “I plead the fifth.”
The important thing here is that all of the perfect nominees that The Almighty One has put forward are acing their interviews and on their way to confirmation. The senate will confirm them because what choice do they have? Democrats have no power and any Republican that doesn’t vote for them will get primaried right out on their ass. So, our nominees could really say anything they want! There is no one to stop them at this point. Good ol’ Pete Hegseth could come to the confirmation drunk (he may have, did anyone smell his breath?) and it wouldn’t matter. I don’t know how many of you MAGAts have seen Star Wars, but we are at the part in Episode IV when the senate is just there to look pretty! They have no power anymore, it’s Supreme Chancellor Trump’s way, or the highway.
So now we have Pete as Secretary of Defense. He’ll be managing thousands of people when he’s only ever managed what, like five before? That will work out though, don’t worry. Lee Zeldin is in at the EPA, he’ll have the “Environmental Protections,” or as they’re called in MAGA world, “unnecessary business stiflers,” rolled back before day two of the term. Pam Bondi is in as Attorney General so we can prosecute those Libs and RINOs. Bessent is in at treasury to try and confuse the LIbs about how much the tariffs will really cost them (even if it’s a lot, they’ll never know because they’ll fall asleep listening to Bessent explain his theories). Doug Burnum will be manning to department of the interior because we needed a boring, benign pick somewhere. We have some rough ones coming up, like the FBI conpiratist Kash. We need him, or else how will the Gestapo work correctly?
Keep tuning in MAGAts. The Joy is spilling out now faster than it did on January 6th 2021. Nothing but celebrations as we divide and reconquer America, AKA Continent Trump!
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