Dear Patriots, we’re going to discuss more of the absolutely SICK conspiracy theories we hear going around Lib world today. As you may know, our leader was “sentenced” today at the end of the witch hunt about “hush money” payments. First of all, may the first millionaire who hasn’t paid hush money to a pornstar please throw the first stone. It’s almost an initiation to the millionaire club at this point. Second, just because a Liberal judge who is obviously Liberal and has all of these Radical Liberal beliefs says Emperor Donald is guilty does not make it true! If I say the word Liberal enough, everyone will understand that it’s the fault of the Radical Left Liberals!
Onto the ridiculous conspiracy theories floating around today. I heard a Lib somewhere say that King Trump coordinated the whole sentencing just to make him look like a more legitimate President because he doesn’t have prison hanging over his head. That is beyond fantasy! First of all, if Trump and his very rich allies were able to facilitate this kind of plan, wouldn’t he have the judge just decree that he is innocent? Yes, that may make it seem even more suspicious since he was already found guilty, but why give yourself a criminal record when you can avoid it? For those Libs who say that Arch-President Trump’s billionaire handlers made him do it because they have ultimate power over the judicial system because of their huge sums of money and, therefore, influence; I mean, c’mon! Look at all of the evidence, does Trump listen to anything anyone tells him to do? Nope.
Some of those Libs out there are also circulating the rumor that if any other single person in the United States (not of the wealthy class, or in other words, the suckers) was being punished for the same thing, they would have absolutely faced jail time. Well, guess what Lefties? Donald isn’t any other person. He’s better. Maybe not in knowledge, or conscience, or manners, or dignity, or corruption, or parenting skills, or likeability, or even genuine human decency; but he is in money and family wealth! That family money is more important in our Cryptocracy (is that what we’re going with now?) than any other character trait that he may lack!
Finally, Patriots, the crazy conspiracy theory that Judge Juan Merchan (Is he a legal American? Maybe someone should look into that.) was lenient on Trump even after Trump harassed him and broke laws that “normies” would’ve gone to jail for throughout the case is ridiculous. Going easy on this Great Man that is Trump would’ve been kneeling down and apologizing in front of his throne. Anything short of that is simply malpractice, and honestly, a sort of blasphemy!
On top of that, if this ridiculous rumor was true, wouldn’t the ‘Merican Oligarchs already be putting the Libs in jail when they disagreed? Now, it is true that one of those Libs continues to be in the White House, but if these ‘Merican Oligarchs were truly as powerful as they’re made out to be, we’d already be living in a ultra-conservative Evangelical faux-Democracy! Oh, wait…
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